6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
