So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
