I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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