brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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