3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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