dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
