On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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