ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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