u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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