I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
