This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
