Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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