what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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