they need to just BURY HIM!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
