That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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