conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
