O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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