i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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