I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
