They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
