His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
