there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
