apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
