why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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