So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
