it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
