hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
