I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
