you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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