no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
