Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
