when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
