The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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