I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
