My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
