Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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