who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A+ Viking dick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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