How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
