I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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