great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
