After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
