would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
