with your own penis?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
