She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
