I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
