oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
