You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
