I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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