Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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