some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
