Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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